PERFECTIONISM SUCKS |
My last few posts have been about spotting perfectionism in real life. Interesting? Possibly. Amusing? Hopefully. Helpful? Perhaps not so much.
I wanted to change that by sharing an idea on how to combat one of the pillars of perfectionism: Comparison. It’s well established that we humans compare ourselves to others, especially in areas of achievement. For example, did you know that there is a correlation between class reunions and job seeking activity? Amusing, but not terribly surprising when you think about it (obviously a pre-pandemic data point, but it clearly shows how we compare ourselves to others). A big challenge with comparison is that it is easier to get sucked into its grasp than ever before. A few generations ago, people could compare themselves to their immediate family or community, but that was pretty much it. Today, we are not only able to compare ourselves to a vastly larger population, but damningly, also to the top 1% in any domain. Theodore Roosevelt wasn’t lying when he said “Comparison is the thief of joy.” But, despite knowing comparison wasn’t the best for my mental health, and my best efforts to curb the habit, I couldn’t seem to stop doing it. That’s when I had a bit of a rebellious thought: What if I could use comparison to help me recognize the ridiculousness of my perfectionism? This prompted a concept that I’m creatively naming Reverse Comparison. Reverse Comparison: Start with a go-to comparison but then flip it around. This will demonstrate how absurd comparison really is. Reverse Comparison Example: When I catch myself bemoaning the fact I’ll never be as good as Hilary Hahn on the violin I stop and ask myself: “Would Hilary Hahn expect to have my level of competence when it comes to running global succession planning programs?” The answer is forehead slapping obvious. Of course Hilary wouldn’t expect to be able to design a legally compliant, global, yet fully integrated corporate succession management ecosystem. So why on earth would I expect that my fun-free-time-hobby should even approach comparison to one of the most talented soloists of all time?? Once I was able to see the absurdity of the original comparison, I was able to enjoy playing my mediocre caliber music once again (that is the point; try new things, enjoy your hobbies, be ok with being bad at first. We want to avoid giving up or feeling miserable because we don’t compare). Give it a try for yourself:
I hope this helps. As for me, even on the days when I still absurdly dream about becoming a world renown soloist despite my mediocre talent… I have come to realize I have something that Hilary will never have: the best backup vocalist anyone could ask for, Milhouse ;)
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Perfectionism really is the worstTrust me, I'm not trying to humble brag about perfectionism. I fought and kicked and denied like a champion... until one day... Archives
July 2021
Categories |
Proudly powered by Weebly