PERFECTIONISM SUCKS |
Hello to my fellow in-denial-about-your-perfectionism friends! I hope you are doing well and my personal brand of humor is at least making you laugh at me if not with me.
I have a theory I’d like to share: the context and frequency of the word should in your vocabulary might be a hint that you are a in-denial-perfectionist. It’s a pretty simple construct; think of it as a spectrum. On one end, the word should is used on occasion. Generally in association with things that are part of being a reasonably functioning adult. “I should pay my bills,” “I should make sure my dog is up-to-date on immunizations,” etc. On the other end of the spectrum, “should” follows you around all day. No matter what you are doing, you’re thinking about how you “should” be doing it better, more efficiently, or with more grace. For those of you who think this sounds a bit ridiculous, let me provide a few quick examples. You can then determine if you’re “should-ing” all over your day and yourself.
Here’s the deal. As you all know, I’m not against striving. Not in the least. Striving is great, it’s the backbone of capitalism. However, to borrow heavily yet loosely from the 2nd grade teacher of a character from The Queens’ Gambit: “Striving is a potent spice, a little will wake you up, too much makes you feel like a loser and you’re falling behind in life.” (I said loosely!) Look at those three (very real) scenarios above. In each scenario I started with something good. I cleaned the kitchen! I’m practicing music! I had a productive day at work! And then, I take this positive situation, and I “should” all over it. In doing so, I rob myself of some, if not all, of the joy or satisfaction I might have originally felt. I have a vague feeling I’m not alone. Think about it, how often are you “shoulding” all over your days?
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Perfectionism really is the worstTrust me, I'm not trying to humble brag about perfectionism. I fought and kicked and denied like a champion... until one day... Archives
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